Is the Universe a Simulation?

The universe is huge.

Being a lover of sci-fi I have always assumed that we, as in we humans, will eventually get to stars but the more that I learn about the distances and the math involved, I feel my confidence waning.

Because the universe is really, really big.

But just because we may never jump in our starships and zip to the next solar system in time for next week's episode, doesn't mean there aren't frontiers to explore. The ocean is full of the unseen and there are planets and moons such as Europa than may even harbor life. So there is plenty to do.

And I am beginning to contend that we may end up creating our own frontiers. And with a bit of encouragement, I may further contend that we may be living within one of our frontiers.

The Simulation Hypothesis has caught my imagination over the last few years and it appears that scientist are taking the idea more and more seriously to the point that experiments are running to try to determine if we are living within a simulation. And the more I think about it and the more I see advancements in computing and other technologies, I would have to wonder if it's more likely that we are part of simulation than not.

The reasoning is that certain conundrums in physics and philosophy suddenly make sense if we assume the existence of a simulation. That's a bit of an oversimplification but definitely the gist of it. And it makes a lot of sense. The computer game industry builds more and more complex simulations of entire worlds that become more and more immersive with each passing year. How long before they actually build a simulation so perfect that participants can't discern the difference between the simulation and "reality"? And what happens then?

Now throw in quantum computing. Suppose that a quantum computer with all it's potential is the home to this simulation. Move this scenario fifty years into the future.

What can happen then?

This is where my imagination really takes off. What if a simulation is created within a quantum computer based on simple self sustaining algorithms and the scientists just sit back and watch it grow? What if they watch the simulation take shape and evolve. Then what if they work out an interface so that they can go into the simulation as participants and observes the evolution first hand.

What happens then?

 But what if one of this simulations really takes off and it becomes truly self sustaining? But, due to quantum fluctuations, the mere act of observation of the scientist from within the system actually crash the system. So the scientist propose to send in avatars with their memories blocked so that their preconceived notions can't effect the experiment but when the avatars are withdrawn from the simulation, they can recall their experiences and report.

What then?

Watching the headlines of science new, it's not hard to see the possibilities. A computer manages numbers and a simulation is nothing but numbers. Taking a survey of games like Skyrim with modern mods installed, it's not hard to see the future

So it's very possible that in the near future we will create our own frontiers to explore. We will build worlds and send in explorers to observe the developing universes.

But that begs the question: Is that what we are doing now?

Are we in the simulation? Did we conveniently forget where we came from and why we are here?

Is there some scientist sitting outside the box poking us with a metaphorical stick?

Lots of questions with few answers but answers may be forthcoming. Although I have to wander what happens the day the scientist looks at the numbers and realizes that this is the simulation.

What happens then?

Probably nothing.

Considering a lot of the Eastern philosophies are concerned coming to terms with maya or the illusion (or delusion) of reality and considering there are documented "masters" who have become "enlightened" and suddenly the rules don't necessarily apply to them any longer, I think we are safe from the threat of catastrophic realization. Another way to look at it is that some have become aware of the simulation and have learned to hack the simulation source code like Neo in The Matrix.

So these are not new ideas.  Look at Plato's Cave or Decartes' Demon or any religion where a "controller" is controlling a "system of control" and technically that's a simulation. But for the first time, actual scientists, not philosophers are looking for actual proof and that is exciting.

It's also interesting to think about what happens if the scientists prove that we are part of a complex simulation. What exactly would change?

Sadly, once again, probably nothing.

The realization that reality is a string of 1's and 0's doesn't change much at all. The sun still shines, the grass still grows, it still hurts when I stub my toe. It's not like it matters that it's "real" or not because, technically, it's real enough.

Now, assuming proof that reality is a simulation, some may learn to hack the source code of reality a lot easier since the whole "faith" problem is removed from play. Some may be able to take that proof and run with it. I have a feeling most would care until they were hungry again and then living would take precedence.

It doesn't matter really, the source of reality. If it is a game-like simulation running on an super-computer on the desktop of some teenager in a super reality, then we are still in play. Isn't that a thought. It's not scientist in this super reality running a serious simulation. It's some kid on summer break just messing around with something like the Sims or Minecraft.

But it just doesn't matter. To a certain degree. Until it starts to explain certain things. If the "masters" of the world have learned to hack the source code of the simulation, could the existence of the simulation also explain other supernatural phenomenon?

One of the first that comes to mind are the oft-reported Greys. Are the Greys actually the Programmers? Or maybe the avatars of the programmers?

Are ghosts just artifacts like burnt in images on a lcd screen?

Could there be alternative reason for running the simulation altogether?

Could the entire purpose of the Simulation be to produce one of Kurzweil's singularity's? Basically, a Simulation is how computer scientists in the super reality create superior A.I.. Which basically makes us retroactive brain food for a developing A.I..

Could the simulation be done. From the perspective of physics, all time happens at once. We just experience it in a linear fashion. If someone was observing from the super reality, they would see a sequence of events that they could press the play or pause button on.

Crazy stuff but a lot of fun to think about.

But once again, in the end, it doesn't really matter. To me at least. Apparently a simulated reality is as real as reality so what does it matter? I'm not sure everyone would feel that way but a shrug is about all I can give it.

At least until someone pulls the plug and the battery backup fails.

200 Hours of Yoga: One Year Later

So last year about this time I was pushing towards the end of a 200 hour yoga certification class. The experience was a bit of a whirlwind and I've spoken before about jumping into the deep end  so soon after discovering yoga. I'm still on the fence about whether or not I would suggest that for anyone else. I had about three months of classes before I entered the program and, while it worked for me, I don't think I would recommend it for anyone else. A year of regular classes would have served me well.

But, that being said, it did work. I have a regular practice and stress levels are down and blood pressure is down and mental acuity is up. My meditation practice is what benefited the most and it's also why I think I fit into the program without the benefit experience. Meditation is my method of maintaining the software and I've worked on techniques and methods for a number of years before adding yoga to the mix. I'm not going to say that yoga is the final piece of the puzzle but it's definitely a sign post on the road to serious introspection if you choose to let it be.

But it's not magic. It's not even mystical. You can get caught up in the transformation processes and it can feel magical but in the end what's really happening? Your moving. Your moving with intention and concentration. Points of stress are being released. Breathing is happening.

At it's best it's a moving meditation. You have to concentrate or you are falling over so your mind just naturally clears. Then as the points of stress release especially around the neck, shoulders and hips, the meditation moves deeper and the breathing becomes more meaningful.

Which explains why blood pressure drops with a regular practice. Yoga, among other things,  is basically a fully responsive stress reduction system.

But yoga is so many different things to different people that I think a lot of the basics that could be so beneficial to so many people are lost in the yoga culture. Everyone has a lot of ideas and expectations that contribute to the air of the mystical and may turn a lot of people away before they even get to the mat. They see yoga bunnies in blinding tights bouncing onto the mat and contorting into advanced asanas without any explanations and they think they are expected to keep up. Or if the explanations are forthcoming, they are shrouded in intentional obfuscation in the effort to keep it mystical. Or keep it tuned to their own expectations.

For instance, I've been told that if you're not speaking Sanskrit, then it's not yoga. I've been told that yoga is really for woman and men shouldn't be intruding into classes and making everyone uncomfortable. I've been told if your are not reaching for samadhi then your wasting your time. I've been told that if you haven't been to India then you can't teach yoga.

The list goes on. And thankfully none of these came from the studio I trained at. I heard most of this after I started digging into the culture both in the Big City and online.

And I could spend a lot of words refuting every point but the actual point is that a lot of different people have a lot of different ideas about yoga.

Which is fine. Everyone is experiencing the realities at their own pace.

But I have to say that I found myself floundering in the culture after training was done. Remember that I had little to no experience before I started so when I started digging and discovering some truly diverse viewpoints, I honestly felt better going at it alone for a little while. This gave me time to refine my own practice and test theories and try some things. And just figure things in general.

Most go into 200 hours with the idea of becoming teachers. I went in with almost zero expectations and about halfway through I started thinking about teaching and then toward the end I decided that teaching may not be for me. I tried it and I wasn't happy with the results. I thought I should try it again but the more I thought about it, the less comfortable I became with the idea. I still have a lot to learn and teaching is a great way to learn but, in this case, it's also a great way to get someone hurt.

So yoga is just for me right now. I need to learn and grow and investigate this set of tools and see what happens.

A year later, I think it's safe to say 200 hours is just the beginning.

Buttered Chicken

I traveled to the Big City recently and was introduced to buttered chicken, a spicy, tomato based Indian dish served with naan and rice. The restaurant was a hole in the wall of a strip mall with an unassuming name and room for maybe fifteen people. But it was clean and smelled of spices and tea and staff didn't speak a word of English but that offered no hindrance to the experience and this tiny establishment has easily entered my top five favorite places-to-eat.

Not having a lot of experience with Indian food, I went with the aforementioned buttered chicken which was suggested as a good introduction for a westernized pallet. What followed was one of those glorious moments of discovery that should define life and living. The dish was an exploration of flavors delivered with a smooth texture of flavored cream over jasmine rice. One can assume that one knows what one likes. One can think that boundaries of flavor have been explored. But one good dish can implode your expectations of what cooking can achieve.

Well, now we have a problem. The Big City, of course, is not short on restaurants but is about an hour away and my Small Town thinks that the Chinese buffet with it's Americanized deep fried imitations of nothing Chinese is fancy foreign style eating. There is one Thai restaurant that is very good but the menu is limited to, well, Thai. There are some sushi options cropping up and a couple of very expensive restaurants where the fancy folk gather for superiority contests but there are no hole-in-the-wall ethnic eateries offering exotic tastes and unique culinary experiences.

So I'm on my own for the most part if I want to explore these new horizons. I decided to start with buttered chicken since I know what one version of it tasted like and therefore had a "target" to shoot for. When I go back to the Big City, the goal will be to try a new dish and see if it's worth trying to replicate and so on.

But first: Buttered Chicken.

A quick search for recipes and a conclusion is quickly reached: Buttered chicken is to India as chili is to Texas. Every family has their own recipe and their's is the only one that tastes right. Second conclusion: It's not a simple dish. There are steps involved. It's not hard by any means but it is involved. Once again the comparison can be made to Texas chili.

But it's very doable. But as far as recipes, the variations are mind numbing. I settled on a slow cooker variation that featured coconut milk and yogurt and the first batch came out edible but no where close to my target. I was missing the actual masala though and trying to substitute with what spices I had. However, I would caution against short cutting the ingredients and that may be the most challenging part of the dish is tracking down the masalas. Masala is a mixture of spices that can vary from region to region and family to family. You can find recipes to make your own but the list of spices involved is intimidating and expensive. I made a side venture during one of my trips to the Big City to an Indian market and the clerk was very helpful in pointing out the best brands for what I was trying to achieve ("My wife uses this brand and I married her because of her cooking.")

Next attempt, I ditched the slow cooker and went back my cast iron skillet. My instincts were telling me that my comparison to Texas chili were spot on and this required low, slow heat and a can of Ro-Tel. I still liked the ingredient list from the slow cooker recipe, I just wanted to manage the cooking of the ingredients in their own time as opposed to cooking them all at once.  So the chicken went in, then the tomato paste and small can of Ro-Tel, Spices and the yogurt were next and then I let it simmer on medium-low heat for about forty minutes. Then I added the can of coconut milk and brought it back up to heat and it was done. Total cook time was about an hour which is long for me. I stirred and tasted and tested like an Italian grandmother and added curry and masala as I thought it needed it.

In the end the flavors were spot on and I can see potential for getting creative. The RoTel, although not traditional, adds a bit of heat but if you want to punch it up a bit, add more of the garam masala. I used more chicken that the recipe called for but it was fine. 

But, of course you need naan, which is the traditional Indian flatbread. But I still avoid gluten when possible and so the search began for a gluten free alternative. I found the solution here:  Three ingredient paleo naan. Note that I've substituted the coconut milk for almond milk and it works fine. I also tried rice flour in place of the almond meal and it works but you need to cook the bread longer. 

Here are the links to the recipes for convenience: 

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/slow-cooker-butter-chicken/

http://myheartbeets.com/paleo-naan-indian-bread/

The Rites of Spring

Well, Spring kind of blew up on me.

I worried about it all through that harsh winter, waiting for warmer temperatures and cursing late frost that killed some of my early plantings. I had lists of things that had to be done and projects that I wanted to try and I considered myself halfway organized but, as usual, I found myself juggling a huge to-do list within the confines of an impossible schedule.

I got the garden in the ground. I got the fence around the garden to stave off marauding deer. I got the chicken coop put together and the new chickens settled in. Next came the container plants on the back porch and a couple of loads of pottery to get fired with new glazes that needed testing. I also got behind in my mead making and had to scramble to get some jugs brewing so I'll have good stuff for the holidays in six months.

And I finished my 200 hour yoga certification and picked a class to teach one night a week. Oh, and I changed jobs. Which, if all goes as planned, could leave me with more time for all of these projects but we'll have to wait and see.

So now we are deep into Summer and I have a freezer full of squash and green beans and the chickens are laying eggs and the grasshoppers have finished off the garden. I'm still buried with a to-do list as long as my arm but it will be alright. I'm taking each day as it comes and letting the Universe decide what needs to be at the top of the list each day. I'm pretty spastic towards the to-do list anyway, often ignoring carefully laid plans when I suddenly realize that I have a perfect storm of materials, time and energy to move a project to the top of the list with little warning. It's an annoyance to many who have to associate with me. I say I'm going to spend the day on pottery or drawing and I'm found hip deep in a whole in the ground because I heard about a simple design for a hot box to help sprout seedlings. And I can understand the annoyance but I can't really let it slow me down. If the energy is right, it's time to move and get something done. Plans be damned.

But things still get done regardless of the order I do them in although some projects do fall to the wayside occasionally. And that's ok. A lot of times the elements of the wayward project crop up in another project and it's like I planned it that way all along.

But moving on, I think it's time to shake the list up a little and see what else comes up. With the yoga course finished and the new job and the energetic Spring behind me, I'm starting to peruse some new ideas and revisit some very old ones. As it turns out, a lot of the ideas I've been working on for years have some fancy names and catch phrases. Apparently I've been working toward simple living all these years and didn't really know it. If someone asked, I said I was looking for a simple, artistic lifestyle. Also, I've always wondered about living within the ecosystem and either having a positive effect or no effect at all. That's called "permaculture" which actually has more to do with just the utilizing agricultural systems within a natural system and therefore guaranteeing sustainability. Which is interesting because sustainability has always been an interest as far as trying to make or grow your own stuff.

Now I'm not selling everything and moving to an off-the-grid cabin in the mountains just yet. But I want to explore the possibilities and see if someone can get closer to a simple, sustainable lifestyle without eschewing all forms of modern convenience. Which means, I just realized, that nothing is really going to change. I'm just moving forward under the banner of fancy words and pretty catch phrases. But knowing those fancy words and catch phrases does make coming up with meaningful search phrases a bit easier. The benefit of the internet is that what used to take me a day of finding the right book hither and yon now takes about ten minutes.

So forward unto long lists and unknown projects. There are a lot of ideas to explore and things to make.

Universe willing, of course, and in the order she dictates.

She does seem to be pretty good at getting things done after all.

Notes on the Chakras: Sahasrara

In the terms of the classical system, the seventh chakra, Sahasrara, is the finish point. It resides at the top of the head or in some observations, just above the head and it's visualized as a thousand petal lotus that shines with the radiance of pure spirit. It is the point of connection between us and the Universe. In theory, if all the chakras are spinning and the seventh is open, then you are in tune with the cosmos and open to her wisdom.

I won't say much about this one and not because I don't have much to say. I could wax on about definitions of divine and the interconnection of things or even delve into the quantum revelations of modern science and the effect the observer has on the observed just by the effort of observing. It's heady stuff and I love it but I hesitate to discuss it openly.

I don't like messing with a person's idea of God, the Goddess or the Divine. It's a very old rule of mine that states "Thou shall not tamper with another's faith." If I am approached and questioned, I am willing to have a guarded discussion about faith and dogma and religion and so on. But I don't think it's right to hold up banners claiming to know anything for certain when ideas concerning the divine and spiritual matters are constantly evolving in even the most faithful.

This chakra is about your personal relationship with whatever you choose to call the energy that is greater than all of us. But that's just it. It's personal. If we choose to talk about it in a quiet setting over coffee and a simple dessert, there will be an agreement concerning open minds and a lack of judgement. And I may even get it in writing.

I wish it wasn't this way actually. I wish we could talk freely and openly and have nothing to fear about discussing the various ways that everyone sees their own spirituality. But, alas, it cannot be. We just haven't made it that far as a species yet.

You see, people hate each other over the perceived differences in spiritual perspective. People kill each other over perceived differences in spiritual perspective. Think about that. Wars are fought, atrocities are encouraged over differences in spiritual opinion.

So, I'm sorry but we just can't talk about it. It's too subjective, too dependent on personal experience and the dogma that was shoveled onto tender young minds. How can we threaten that? Those are traditions, mind you, passed down through generations with prejudices and preconceived notions intact. We can't threaten these with new ideas or evolving notions. It's just too much.

But it's a shame though. Even a passing glance at some form of comparative religions studies will leave most with the impression that a thousand different cultures were all trying to describe the same thing with different words and at different times. It's like they were standing in the museum staring at the most beautiful painting that was ever created and then they were asked to describe it.  Words fail, of course, and opinions form about what they saw, or what they think they saw. But the painting is still there, somewhere and some seek it out through the corridors of the self, hoping for just a glimpse at perfection, a personal communion with all that could be without the dogma and the prejudices and the notions.

But we can't talk about that. Because, what would we say, really? I mean, I could point out that the painting may not even exist. I could bring up the fact that a thousand sages across a thousand ages have all agreed that its not the painting that is important, but the journey to the painting that brings wisdom and enlightenment. But if a thousand sages said it all those times and so few listened, why would I just rehash what no one wants to hear? Active spirituality is work. The answers are not easy and forthcoming. And sitting in a pile of dogma is so comfortable and easy.

So I won't say anything. I leave this chakra to be explored by the willing or ignored. And I will just have to hope that those brave enough to explore will have the sense to realize that what you bring to this chakra is what you will see. Be careful with what you carry, be wary of the mask you wear when you step into this light. In many ways it can be a mirror, a reflection of yourself within and without. This is one of the reasons the ancients sought to clear the lower chakras before opening this window to the divine so that their vision would be unfettered with the expectations of this physical plane.

And, see? Now we are just getting into crazy talk and I just won't go there. This is me, holding my hands up, gently stepping away. I have to have faith that you will find the path that you intended to find. There is a plan, after all, or I have faith that there is a plan. Or I have some inkling that time is a construct of perception and that everything that will ever happen has already happened and we just experience it in a linear fashion in order to get the most out of it. That is an interesting thought, though. Everything has already happened and we just have to get there. Or is every second birthed from the second before? Or does it matter either way?

Maybe not. It may not matter at all. Which is why you might notice that the "enlightened" have a tendency to shrug a lot. Does it matter? Eh, we'll see. Live in the moment. Answer to the now. Breath and wait without expectation.

We'll see.

And that could be the perfect answer to everything.

But enough of this. I leave this here at the end that can never end and hope that I haven't said too much. Not just about this particular chakra but all of them, the entire system. I feel the need to offer a disclaimer that these ideas and impressions are my own and there are much more qualified authorities on such matters that should be referenced and cross referenced. In the age of the Internet, the first rule is "Find three sources for everything". This project was my own attempt to clarify my own impressions and filter years of study. I have much more to learn and I can even admit that I have no idea what the next step in this journey is.

I guess, we'll see.

Notes on the Chakras: Ajna

What is real?

What is the definition of reality?

For most, this isn't even a question. "Real" defines itself. "Reality" is proof of reality. I'm here, aren't I? How much more "real" can you get?

But what if we remove the filter of subjective perception? What's left? What are we actually experiencing in the midst of this crazy mishmash of energy and matter? Our brains take the perception of various wavelengths of radiation through ocular nerves and process that mess into a coherent vision of a local reality. But what if our nerves or brains or eyes were different? Would reality be different?

Questions such as these bring us to the sixth chakra. It is called Anja and its job is to mitigate the illusion.

Some would immediately argue that point. Some would say that Anja is meant to see past the illusion, not mitigate or control. This is the most glamorous chakra, after all, often touted as the gateway to enlightenment and an obvious focal point for meditation. It's location is at the brow point between the eyes which is why it's referred to as the "third eye", an apt description that has easily leaked into popular culture. It's the source of wisdom and the intellect, intuition and the conscious and unconscious mind. Open this chakra and you see things as they truly are.

"As they truly are..."

I have issues with that phrase. I think it's misleading at best and dangerous at the far end. It implies that we are all in the thrall of a collective psychotic break, that reality is not what it seems at a base level and if we try real hard, we can see what "real" reality looks like.

Well . . . Maybe? As a fan of fantasy and science fiction, I am very open to the idea of other realities and universes and the idea that there is more above and below this realm of experience. But I also realize that the core reality is just that. The core. The base. The collective experience that we all can agree on.

Some of this inherent confusions come from the eastern concepts of maya which can be translated as "illusion" or even "delusions". A lot of the older texts discuss overcoming maya and using the sixth chakra to do it. This is one of the many instances where I would love to be able to read the original text in the original languages in order to draw my own conclusions. The western ideas of maya translate into the idea that the reality itself is the illusion to be overcome and that may be the case but I am beginning to believe that it's not reality that's the illusion but our perception of reality that's not real.

It goes back to that filter of subjective perception. The word "subjective" as defined buy Google means "based on or influenced by personal feelings, tastes, or opinions." How many of us can say that we view reality without the influence of feelings or opinions based on past experiences?

Imagine your mind as a video recording device that started fresh and new and free of any preconceived notions. Now imagine that any experience you have is represented by a tinted glass, a filter than can fit onto the lens of your recording device. Your begin recording and each experience adds a filter to the lens. So the perception of your reality is tinted by the filters of experiences to the point that you may not even see reality for what it truly is.

So, maybe it's not reality that's the illusion. Maybe it's our perception of reality that is the illusion.

The sixth chakra is the lens to our recording device and it holds the filters we've placed their throughout our lives. Let's keep in mind though, that we may have come into this life to collect some filters and experience things from a particular subjective viewpoint. But to have control of the filters, to see with clarity and a heightened sense of spiritual awareness is a noble goal. A lot of chakra work has to do with clearing up issues so that one can act consciously as opposed to reacting subconsciously. Being able to perceive a situation or person clearly is a huge step toward such goals.

So what is real?

Does it really matter? If you choose to embrace the filters that tint your perception then your reality will always be your version of reality, your version of "real". If you choose to let them go, then you see reality for what it is and go from there. To a degree, your filters define you as a person. The collection of experiences, both painful and joyous, created the personas we cling to like driftwood in a turbulent sea. To let them go means you might have to sink into unknown waters and find yourself swimming with the real you.

And I can't imagine it getting more real than that.

Notes on the Chakras: Vissuddha

So we come the fifth chakra and I almost don't know what to say.

Which is ironic considering that the fifth chakra is the throat chakra, the center of speech and communication and listening and expressing. I've heard it called the chakra of consequence due to the fact that words have power and how we express ourselves to the world is our effect on that world. Some express too much and some express too little but I have to wonder what the balance is. The eternal challenge is when to speak and when to shut up. And I usually opt for remaining quiet for a variety of reasons.

This chakra is my personal challenge which may be why I'm finding it difficult to talk about it. Full disclosure: I am painfully shy. So shy, in fact, that to walk into a room full of people takes a supreme effort. I'm a little better one on one but I am intimidated by groups of people I don't know.

Now, those that know me personally would scoff at this. My writer's sense of detached observation married with my six foot six frame gives me an unintentionally intimidating presence. So I don't look shy. And if you approach me, we will have a good conversation. If the conversation steers towards a topic that I am well versed in such as pottery you will have a hard time getting me to shut up. I have spent time in front of groups of people speaking off the cuff, following all the rules of public speaking such a making eye contact and projecting my voice and trying not to say "um" after every other sentence. So most of those that know me might not accept that I battle shyness in almost every social encounter. But I do. I've had 40-something years to work on it but rest assured, there is scared little five year old inside of me that would rather stand off to the side of the playground, looking down and kicking dirt clods rather than risk a bad social encounter.

But I think I've done well. I have faced my fear and let it pass over me. And I have been fortunate that special people took an extra step and said the extra word to close the gap a bit so I didn't have so far to reach to make that first connection. Those people were friends before we ever met and I am eternally grateful. I am also grateful for those friends who truly know me and understood my battles and either had my back or held the door open so I could escape if i needed too and did so without commentary or judgement.

Because judging someone else's fear is wrong. What right does anyone have to tell someone else that their fear is illegitimate? When you are truly afraid of something, the most real thing in your universe at that moment is that fear and to have someone stand and state that your fear is stupid or silly is a direct attack on that person's reality. You can offer rationalizations to help guide a person through their fear and you can offer understanding so that they know they are not alone. Or you can just offer a hand to hold which can be an anchor in the storm that makes the fear less real. But to dismiss their fear is to dismiss their experience and how can you climb over the mountain if someone is constantly telling you the mountain isn't there?

This leads back to the fact that your words have consequence. How you express yourself is the imprint you leave on your local reality.

You can help or you can hurt.

So what do I have to say about this chakra?

Not much really. Obviously, it's the one I've worked on the most without realizing it and it's the one that still needs a lot of attention. I think it will always be a work in progress more so than the other chakras due to my artistic endeavors which I believe is another expression of this particular chakra.

Because that is what art is. Philosophers struggle all the time with the definition of art but in the end it is just a means of expression, an encapsulation of an experience. At some point long ago, someone was inspired to paint on a cave wall and an idea was conveyed, an experience was communicated and the totality of the human experience was accelerated because suddenly the idea could be conveyed and the experience could be communicated.

(Some would attached the artistic endeavor to the next chakra up which has a lot to do with "seeing" and "perceiving" but I don't see it that way. The fourth chakra feels. The fifth chakra expresses. The sixth chakra perceives. Or at least it thinks it does. We'll delve into illusions and the nature of reality with a later post.)

So it's all about expression and all that it entails. We have an inner reality and through the fifth chakra, we express that inner reality to convey the idea and the experience. I find it interesting that the name of this chakra, Vissuddha, means "purification" in sanskrit because as we express that inner reality, we purify the experiences and purge the inner reality and if we choose to not express, to hold it all in, to hide the good and the bad, then we putrefy. We can find a way to let it out that is healthy and expressive. Or we can find a way to express it in such a way that's not so healthy and probably a bit destructive. Or we can rot. It's a bit crazy how often the importance of this chakra is glazed over in favor of the "love" of the fourth or the glamour of sixth.

So what do I really have to say about this chakra?

Ok, probably too much. I could go on about the nature and means of expression and how it can be judged for good or bad and I could talk art for pages and pages and it would be really interesting on a personal level to talk about some of the conversations I've had with that scared little five year old I mentioned above. I don't think people realize the power of going back and talking to the person you once were and trying to work through different issues. Because that person you once were is still in there somewhere and they might still need help.

See, I could go on and on.

But I really need to shut up.

Because I honestly can't tell if I've said too much.

Or if I haven't said enough.

Notes on the Chakras: Anahata

The fourth chakra, called Anahata, is deemed most important in many yoga traditions. It's the center of feeling, the source of caring, the fountain of compassion and the engine of love that drives our spiritual connection to this physical illusion. When it's open and nurtured, we feel connections and empathy towards the world. When it's closed, we feel isolated and alone.

Now, interestingly enough, I don't think too much about this particular chakra but I pay attention to it all the time. For me, it's the center of the system and the gate to processing what the other chakras are radiating. It's like a window into your current spiritual being and if you pause and listen you give yourself a chance to act instead of react. If you have a chest clenching rush of fear, you should be able to pause, sit in the emotion and analyze if your body is actually in physical danger. If you take a hit to the ego and the third chakra wilts away for a moment, you can stop and decide whether or not to take what was said or done personally and allow it to affect you. When Anahata is open, you have time to feel the connections and understand more fully the emotional content of any given situation and act accordingly rather than reacting badly.

But that's a lot of responsibility, isn't it? To consciously act rather than react? It removes the "I just wasn't thinking" excuse from the the table and you must accept that your actions have consequence especially when you act consciously.  Reacting is easy and gets easier as Anahata shuts down and you lose those connections and that empathy that links you to the world.

It's those connections that make the world real. Many would argue the point but the way I see it, without Anahata, we exist, but we are not "here". With the first chakra, I can eat, run and survive. With the second chakra I can procreate. With the third chakra I can make my space and protect it. But with the fourth chakra, we connect. We plug in. We empathize and relate our base experience with the experiences of others and suddenly we are "here". We are in this reality and we are together.

So the joys and sorrows that each level of experience can bring manifests in the heart.  Imagine the warm fuzzy feeling a full pantry or a full tank of gas brings. That's a first chakra glow that manifests in your chest. How about the blessed ache that the sight of a beautiful woman brings, that little knot of nervous energy that happens right behind your sternum. Second chakra chiming in. How about the chest puffing glow that you get from a compliment that feeds energy straight to the third chakra?

It all happens in the chest, in the flower of Anahata. And being open and connected allows us to be here and now and fully in the moment which is the goal of almost all the spiritual disciplines.

But let's talk about love for just a moment since most sources will take this chakra and the sense of connection, call it "love" and be done with it.

Some would call me a cynic. I think of myself as a realist. I'll answer to either tag so I don't see that it matters. But full disclosure is in order for me to state that the word "love" is over used.

It's a marketing ploy and little else. It's a word that has some crazy generalized associations that is abused by manipulators and greeting card companies to get what they want. The word has so many associations and so many levels and layers that it is very possible that no two people could give you an accurate description, much less a definition.

"But that's what makes it magical," someone will say.

No, that's what makes it useless. Words have definitions. Words have meanings. When one word has so many levels of meanings, it becomes diluted.

If someone uses the word "love", what do they mean? If you let the love flow, what is flowing?  Which kind of love are we talking about? Is it the love a man feels for a woman? Well if everyone feels that for everyone, this is going to get kinky quick. How about the love a parent feels for a child? That love is crazy powerful and you don't realize how powerful until you feel it but it is very focused. How about the love for a medium rare steak and bourbon over ice? Hell, I'd marry it. But is it love? I might die for the love of a woman. I will die the love a child. I'm not that worried about a good steak served with alcohol no matter how much I love it.

But cynicism/realism aside, this comes down to a shifting point of reference and everyone stands on a different point when referring to love and that point is formed by life experiences, both past and present.

So is it possible to have a universal point of reference?

I don't know.

But I read a book on lucid dreaming once called The Lucid Dreamer: A Waking Guide for the Traveler Between Worldsand it described  mystics who had seen things and understood those things as only mystics can. But when they tried to explain, they could only sit and cry because there were no words to describe just how beautifully connected everything is.

That's a pretty interesting reference point.  Love is the moment where words fail.

So I guess it's alright to use the word "love" and acknowledge the degrees and shifting points of reference while realizing that language is not powerful enough to address the possibilities. But I still think "connection" is a more accurate description and the connection can be cultivated in Anahata without confusing it with marketing ploys.

And the more we cultivate, the closer we get to that moment where words cannot explain the oneness of the universe.

Notes on the Chakras: Manipura

So we've worked our way up from Muladhara to Swadhistana and now we come to Manipura. The basics are out of the way. We survive and thrive and seek creation through means both subtle and overt and so we can begin to actually develop a sense of self. We can worry with an ego and the baggage that it brings.  We survive, we thrive and we discover our boundaries.

Manipura is located behind the solar plexus and is associated the element of fire. So we've moved up from the earth (Muladhara) to water (Swadhistana) and now we have the fire. I find this chakra particularly interesting since this is the one a lot of the martial art traditions point to as a source of energy and power. It's fascinating study of cross cultural references to the same thing. Yoga has prana and the various martial arts of china and japan have chi. It's the same stuff and although the methods of manipulation of this energy vary, a lot of the philosophy is remarkably similar.

And it's not surprising that some of the martial arts traditions consider this a source of power since that's basically what Manipura is all about: Power. But not power in the traditional western sense. This is the power of the self, the structure of the ego. This is the force of will and the sense of individualism.

But let's begin by looking at the idea of "power". In the West, when someone says "power", it is assumed that they are referring to power over something or someone. It's an external thing mostly. A measure of someone's mark on the world or the extent of their influence. But power can mean something else especially if approached from an eastern or shamanic viewpoint. In this version, power is internal and personal. In the West power is measured by lines on a map. The power we speak of here is more like fires in the furnace.

It's more about the sense of self that can lead to your level of influence on the material world. The ego is a fluid and dangerous thing, inflating and deflating on the whims of fate. Some people fill up a room with their ego, their personal power. Some huddle in the corner and hide since their egos are like flickering candle flames in a breezy room. To a large degree, it's all about how we see ourselves in relation to the world but it's also how we think others see us as well.

It just couldn't be simple, could it?  But one should notice that the story gets more complicated the higher we move up the chakra ladder. Survival is a pretty basic concept. Sex is definitely more complicated that survival. But we have to add a layer of identity over the survival and sex and now we have a bit of a mess since all the chakras reflect aspects of the others. That's a mistake a lot of students of the chakra system make almost immediately. They isolate the chakras from the others and study them individually, eventually forgetting how much they influence each other.

As an example, let's return to the analogy of the third chakra being the flaming furnace of ego. The brighter the furnace burns the more confidence we feel and the more secure we feel with our place in the world. In a sense, we can say that the other chakras can fuel or feed from this furnace. So if we feel secure in the first chakra and we feel comfortable in our physical environment as in all our needs are met, the ego is fine. It may be bolstered even. I have food. Shelter. I must be doing something right! The furnace is fed. On the contrary, a lack of resources and the onset of hunger can mess with one's mind and seriously dampen the fires of confidence.

Same thing goes for the second chakra. Sex is gasoline to the furnace of the third chakra. If someone has sex with us we must be all right in someone's book and that feeds the furnace. Confidence is bolstered (usually) and we feel better about our place in the world especially in relation to the creative vibe of the second chakra. Rejection and the denial of sensuality can suppress the ego and suddenly we question not only our value but also how others value and perceive us.

Security in the physical world is an underlying theme of the first three chakras. Basic needs directing our place in the world on many levels. Consider how the lack of security on any of those levels can drive behaviors and provide motivations.

From here on up is the path of the spirit, the emotions and feelings and connections to higher consciousness. But we can not deny the anchor of the first three chakras that work to give us presence in this physical world. We came here for a reason, to be in these body and experience the reality of the physical and learning how the needs and desires and the furnace of the ego dance together and make life happen is a sure path to self discovery.

Notes on the Chakras: Swadhistana

So let's talk about sex.

This chakra is Swadhistana and it's traditionally located about an inch or so below the navel. It's associated with the ovaries and prostate and it's element is water. It is the next logical progression, the step up from Muladhara where our main concern was survival. If we have survived and become somewhat comfortable in that space, the next concern would be to procreate to ensure the survival of the species. Every organism on the planet responds to this energy in some way. Along with hunger, it is one of the primary forces that drives behaviors and provides motivations and that makes many people very uncomfortable.

This is the chakra that everyone stutters and stammers over while claiming that it has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with pleasure and sensuality and the connection to the physical world through the experience of sensation. But really it's just about sex. And the fact that the average western mind is so bothered by the idea of the overt discussion of procreation on a basic level speaks volumes especially when modern media is awash with sexual imagery and innuendo. The paradox is actually staggering if you stop and think about it. You can't talk about the subject without giggling behind your hand but the media and marketing moguls can use it all day long to sell whatever they want and that's fine.

This is troublesome to say the least. The current iteration of humans has severely mucked up sexuality on so many levels. We can't talk about it. But we have to have it.  But we can't have it. And we will tell others what they can't and can have and who the they can have it with. And everywhere you look flickering images and giant billboards that basically scream "Buy me and you can have SEX!".

Is it really that complicated though? Sex at it's most basic is a method of reproduction. Sex is for making babies and it's made pleasurable to encourage the baby making.

Now, of course, here comes the Hallmark Channel crowd that is going to call me a cretin and explain, tearfully, no doubt, that "making love" is a beautiful act of intimacy that shouldn't be sullied with words like "sex" and "reproduction". Which is part of the problem. Yes, sex is intimate. No other act is perhaps more intimate. But sex is for making babies. Covering up the basic mechanics of the situation with pretty words has not helped the evolution of humans one bit.

(Although it has helped some teenage boys in their early sexual endeavors. How many "birds and bees" conversations with young girls started out with "When a man and a woman are in love . . ."? How many boys used the opening provided by crying "But, baby, if you loved me . . ." to get what they want?)

But why is it so complicated? Well, for one, sex is intimate but having a baby with someone is that intimacy multiplied by a thousand. Your lives come locked together for the duration and nothing brings out the pure human in a person like parenthood. Rarely are such concerns present in the initial intimacy but search for birth control and the panic over a missed period show such concerns to be real. Other reasons for the complication include the effects of peer pressure, societal pressure, psychological pressures and physical pressures via hormones.

And those hormones should not be underestimated. It is amazing what a male type person at various stages of life will say and do in order to procreate. The power of the physical drive is frightening sometimes but it is the drive to ensure the continuation of the species. That's not an excuse for bad behavior. Just an observation of the evolutionary consequences.

So this chakra stays muddy for a lot of people. The desires are there, possibly weighed down by guilt or other psychological expressions and the desires are reinforced by media and while fears are enhanced with talk of unwanted pregnancies and STD's. To add to the mess, this chakra gets a lot of feedback from another chakra called Anahata or the heart chakra or the fourth chakra if you keep track by numbers. Anahata is the feeling center where emotions are processed and expressed and saying that there may be some feedback to Swadhistana may be understating the situation. It's more like a feedback loop.

Anahata:  I have feelings for this person.
Swadhistana:  Do you desire them physically?
Anahata:  Maybe?
Swadhistana:  But you have feelings for them.
Anahata: Yes.
Swadhistana: So you should make a baby!
Anahata:  NO!
Swadhistana:  But you said you had feelings.
Anahata:  I do but I just desire intimacy with this person.
Swadhistana:  Babies are intimate.
Anahata:  I SAID NO!

And sometimes the loop starts with Swadhistana as in the physical attraction is there but the feelings are not but develop through the implied intimacy. One can see how things stay muddied with both of these chakras.

So what to do? How do we balance this chakra and keep the prana flowing?

Honestly there is not a simple answer to that question.  We've concentrated on the sexual aspect but while sex is the focus, sensuality and pleasure is the byproduct which is often why this chakra gets associated with just sensuality and pleasure. But how many deny themselves even simple pleasures because of some associated guilt that connects all pleasure to sexual pleasure. And since sex is bad how can pleasure be good?

We need to ease back on the judgement. And easing back on the judgement does not mean we are giving up sexual responsibility. We drop the unwarranted guilt while still maintaining our ethical centers when it comes to choosing partners for intimacy and parents for our children. We can marvel at the physical sensation of this world and we should not feel guilty that we are experiencing this life on that physical level.

Swadhistana is the part of us that is searching for that experience, the physical experience of this life from the baby-making all the way down to that bite of chocolate. And savoring that bite of chocolate, a sip of wine or even the sun on our skin all speaks to the realness of being alive. Simple pleasures can feed the energy of this chakra as much as the full blown experience of a sexual encounter.

And we shouldn't judge. We shouldn't judge ourselves and we definitely shouldn't judge others in the midst of their own experiences. If anything, we should share experiences and relish the joy of discovery in ourselves and others.

If the first chakra, Muladhara, says, "I lived", the second chakra, Swadhistana says "I am alive".

Funny how we can choose just how "alive" we want to be.

Notes on the Chakras: Muladhara

I've studied the chakras for most of my life, long before I began practicing yoga for no other reason than the system makes sense to me. For the uninitiated, the chakras are the energy centers of the body located at various points along the spine, each associated with a nerve cluster or a set of glands. Energy or prana flows through these centers and manifests in many ways both psychologically, emotionally and even physically. Yoga, Qi Gong, Tai Chi and other systems manage these energy centers and encourage an open flow that generates vitality and health. Should the energy become blocked and stagnant, it is said that sickness and unease will arise.

I discovered Anodea Judith's Wheels of Life: A User's Guide to the Chakra System many years ago and the book is thick and packed full of everything you would ever need to know about the chakras and the traditions and history surrounding them. Anyone looking for more information should probably start there. She keeps things pretty straight forward and down to earth while offering tools to explore a very complex, very ancient system without glossing it over with the sugary sweetness that a lot of modern spiritual texts get bogged down in.

In my mind the chakra system is the software to the body's hardware, programs that run and can be altered and improved and that's what fascinates me. Think of the body as a machine and think of having access to the source code that runs the machine. Then consider that you not only have access to your own programming but can open your system to the network and tap into a greater consciousness. Or you could leave that alone and just optimize your own code and just feel better both physically, mentally and emotionally.

And that's an important point. You can actually take a step back from the philosophy of the chakra system and explore just the psychological level of the system and learn a lot. Each of the seven chakras has a element of the human condition that can be explored on several levels. Dive in a deep as you like but even if you only wade in ankle deep you will still discover things about your self with even the most modest of meditations.

So what follows are my notes and considerations of the chakras. I'll devote a post to each as I explore and articulate my experiences and thoughts of each one as a part of my journal-work for my immersion class. I state that this is mostly for me as I try to nail down some ideas and concepts that may be very subjective and I do not apologize for that. Read along if you like but just remember that nothing I say on this blog is true.

So. Chakra one. It's called Muladhara (root-support) in Sanskrit and it's located at the very base of the spine. It's associated with the element of earth and the adrenal glands which gives us the energy for our fight-or-flight response because that's what this chakra is all about. It is the anchor to this reality as we fight for survival in the physical world.

That's doesn't sound pretty, does it? Fighting for survival. We live in a civilized society, right? We don't have to fight for survival. We have grocery stores and fast food joints that cater to our hungers before we are even hungry. We are at the top of the food chain. Our paved roads and round bellies prove it. Right? No survival needed here. Just live, eat and die in your sleep. Safe and sound.

The problem is that your evolutionary consciousness hasn't caught up with our sense of civilization yet. Muladhara is the survival instinct bore of a million years of dark nights, frantic chases and desperate hunts. It the source of primal fear of many things but especially the dark and hunger. But that's only the down side. The up side is that Muladhara is also the source of our will to survive and our desire to make things better and more secure. But in the balance, we are just trying to survive.

And I'm fascinated by survival. When I was young, I read a book called My Side of the Mountain by Jean Craighead George which is about a teenager who moves to the mountains to live off the land. I wouldn't recommend it as a treatise on how to survive in the wilderness but it caught the imagination of an insecure boy who desperately wanted to be secure. I wasn't naive enough to believe I could actually move to the mountains and live on berries and venison while befriending hawks and weathering winters in hollowed out trees but it did send me looking for survival manuals so that I could learn how to survive if it ever came to that. Survival manuals lead to some rather spartan camping trips to test the theories. And it was on one of those trips when I couldn't get a fire started on wet wood and a cold front was moving in that I had a primal realization that nature could kill me. That was an epiphany. A taste of mortality. Here I was doing my best to survive and nature had the audacity to try and kill me anyway.

It was a sobering and I realized that night that man is not necessarily at the top of the food chain. As a matter of fact, the food chain is rather flexible and twists back on itself sometimes. Human arrogance will state otherwise but I would point out that if you drop the average human naked in the middle of the savanna, the natural order according to humans gets jumbled up pretty quick. See that pride of lions over there? You can preach to them all day about your superior intellect and opposable thumbs but all they really care about is your soft underbelly and the fact that, compared to a zebra or a water buffalo, you're pretty easy to take down and probably a bit easier to chew.

Like I said, very sobering. But sometimes it's sobering thoughts like that that kick open that first chakra and stir up that will to survive, the will to carry on, the will to feel the fear and act accordingly. That's the balance. Feeling the fear and acting anyway.

Fear is not the enemy. Fear is the response to a dangerous situation and that's what we've forgotten in our well lit houses and comfy beds. Fear is not pleasant and it's not suppose to be. Fear is suppose to spur us into action that will lead to self preservation or help us avoid the situation all together. It's an evolutionary tool that serves us well if we let it.

But in this modern age, fears are much more abstract than ever before and we let fear become irrational fears that haunt us, control us and make us suffer but have no bearing on our actual survival. This comes from the fact that fear is really a sense of a lack of security and such a state will make humans do strange things to find that security again.

But what do we really need to survive? And what was the first thought that popped into your head when you read that question? I've heard a myriad of answers and most make a certain amount of sense when you follow the line of reasoning.  For instance, a working man might say "my truck" which makes sense when you realize that he works out of his truck and it's his transportation to the job sites. So, to survive, to get a paycheck, he needs his truck.

But do you see the abstraction? What do you really need to survive?

Another interesting answer is "my phone". Spoken by a modern teenager. Does that make sense? Well, in a way it does. To survive socially, he needs his phone. To remain a part of the group, the tribe, where it's safe and secure, he needs his phone.

Once again a layer of abstraction can be peeled away to reveal a core fear. And we could go on and on with the examples but they all lead back to the same conclusion.

What do we really need to survive? It's actually only three things: food, water and shelter. Some may scream about the missing social component and some may rail against the idea that you can live without love but those folks need to turn off the Disney channel and sit back down. We are talking about survival as in what does it take to live and persist. Not thrive and establish. Just live and persist. If we boil it down to basics, sometimes those abstractions melt away and life becomes extremely simple after your realize just how little you need to survive.

So what are you afraid of? Can you make a list and can you justify every entry on that list as a reasonable fear that actually threatens your survival? Can you edit the list in the light of day and weed out the abstractions and unreasonable fears by tracing them back to the source? Can you mitigate the fear by addressing the issue with logical solutions that provide a sense of security instead?  If you are afraid of the dark, buy a nightlight. If you worry about dark alleys, take a self-defense course (although most self-defense course would tell you to just avoid the dark alley). If you are afraid of spiders, make it a point to learn all you can about spiders. You might discover that the more you know the less you have to fear.

 Fear is the tool that keeps us safe but only if we respond and make ourselves safer. Otherwise we sit in fear and it begins to color our world and we begin to react instead of acting and that usually leads to bad places.

So there's a lot going on in this lowly chakra. Lots of energy moving in and out on a day to day basis as various situations may trip our fear response regardless of the levels of abstraction. Personally, I think this chakra is where most people stay most of the time on a psychological level. Just trying to get by is all this chakra cares about. It's also why I call it the "cha-ching" chakra because a paycheck in the hand will settle it right down with a warm fuzzy feeling deep in the gut while an empty bank account will stir it right up with that empty sinking feeling of dread.

It's all about security.

And it's interesting that as we travel up the spine one chakra at a time, this chakra may chime in at unexpected moments as other issues manifest while exploring those other energy centers. But the point is to listen and be aware, not control or ignore. This first chakra doesn't discriminate and to a certain degree it only has two states: secure and insecure. How you react to the information it provides is completely up to you.

And keep in mind that this is just the first step in a journey of self discovery so it pays to answer the most base questions as honestly as you can and deal with the darkness now. Fear is not pleasant but realizing that it's a tool to be used paves the way for higher orders of understanding and forges new paths through the tangle of consciousness that experience brings. It can be a very deep and revealing process but it begins with the question that must be asked over and over until we have a sense of security that gives us the foundation for further exploration.

What are your really afraid of?

Project Update: More Raku

Still having fun with the copper matte luster glaze from Alternative Kilns & Firing Techniques. With the last firing, three pieces went in and three came out, intact and with good color. Which makes for a good day.

One of the things that makes raku firings exciting is the remarkable chance for failure. You have a piece that goes from about 1800 degrees Fahrenheit to nothing is seconds and that shock leads to breakage and structural failures. But it also leads to your brilliant colors and crackle or antiquing effects.

So is it worth it? I think so even though another recent firing had four pieces in and only one survived. Frustrating but you just have to shake it off and move on. Avoiding expectations is also a good practice. I can't count the number of times I was sure a piece had all the qualities of a "sure thing" and fell to pieces the minute I touched it with tongs. Then others that I took a chance on and expected to fail survive spectacularly. So each firing is a exercise in letting go and accepting what happens as what needed to happen. It's become a mediation of sorts in its own right.

But having said all that, I was pretty confident of this batch. The shape is inspired by the Hopi sipapu and my own interest in "primitive" spirituality and prehistoric art. I think it's interesting to have a representation of "where we came from" on hand in terms of the Hopi tradition and find it fascinating that most shamanic traditions of the world also speak of journeying through tunnels to visit the lower or upper world to look for wisdom and healing. The way the copper glaze creates an alligator-like crawl on the interior of the pots reminds me of caves and tunnels and places mysterious and unseen.

So I'm not sure what to call them. I'm not arrogant enough call them sipapus since I'm not Hopi and that wasn't the only source of inspiration. I would like to associate them with the idea of the shamanic journey but nothing I've come up with sounds right so I think I will leave it to the viewer if a name is even required. But I plan to do more of these so maybe a name will come later.

In other news, the cinnamon mead is racked again and I had a taste. It taste like cinnamon but will require some backsweetening which is fine. The peach mead is bottled although I still wasn't tasting peaches but the overall flavor was very deep and only a little harsh. That harshness will ease with aging.

I still want to move to bigger batches but time is against me.

And speaking of time, you'll recall my little experiment that involved giving up coffee for the sake of meditation. Well, I'm still off the coffee and partake only of green tea and iced tea for lunches but the challenge is increasing as the holiday chaos kicks in and extra energy is needed. I will say that I missed coffee this past week when deadlines loomed but I still enjoy the benefits of going with out it.

I've also tried some green tea energy smoothies and find them to be worthy substitutes for an energy drink. I have a friend who is a nutritional coach and fellow yoga-nut and we brainstormed one night and came up with some ideas for ingredients and I can report that the green tea smoothie is now the remedy for emergency energy without all the crazy chemicals. She blogged the recipe and concocted another energy mix that I have yet to try but sounds delicious.

Once again, simple foods seem to be the solution to a whole lot of things.

Here is the link to Jenny's blog:  Words From a Heart

Heavy Metal Yoga Revisited

A while back, I talked about the possible connection between yoga and the heavy metal music genre as well as a way that "negative" emotions may be processed in a positive way. Recently, I found this article that describes a metal yoga class and if it was closer geographically, I would be there with metaphorical bells on. I see what the teachers are doing (especially if you filter out the writer's cynicism). I get the idea on truly fundamental level that is thoroughly grounded in recent experiences with the purification process that comes with a regular practice.

Strange thing is, I don't think music and yoga mix well most of the time. When I'm practicing, I don't need the distraction. I want to be focused and I want to listen to Teacher's instructions and I want to take the experience inward as much as possible. I can't see how you would avoid working rhythmically which may be the point but I not sure I could do it without losing the breath with the movement and that's a challenge to me as it is. I think it's mostly a personal preference since I know the addition of music works very well for some but it's just normally just not for me.

But the experience described in the article with the low lighting and the more ambient stylings of fringe metal, I could see that creating an intense experience especially if someone was having trouble processing the "negative" emotions that may come up in a regular yoga practice.

Because yoga does pull it out of you. That's one of the revelations that has left me reeling a bit. I intellectually knew that a purification process would happen since I had read about it. I started feeling the effects within the first month even. But as the process continues and the meditations become deeper and the practice sessions become longer, more and more "stuff" comes bubbling up. Its jarring at times and disconcerting at others. Issues that you would have sworn had no bearing on the present come charging to the front of your mind along with the accompanying emotion that you no doubt suppressed at the time. Now you have to acknowledge it, express it and breath through it or suppress it and wait for it to come up another day. I choose breath most of the time but it's hard. The past is the past until you realize you're still living in parts of your past that you never let go. So you bend and you breath and let the emotion happen again only this time you experience it fully and let it go. Then the past is the past.

This is not necessarily a pretty process which brings us back to those negative emotions that may be associated with past situations. I can see denying the pain of the past and refusing the emotion that comes up simply from fear of that pain but if you can't get through it then it will always be there somewhere within your psyche, chewing its way through your system and manifesting in other ways. Letting the yoga practice ease this stuff out is better overall. But it can still be hard. And you won't find much open discussion about it online or elsewhere. Most are just looking for the physical exercise or they are chasing "bliss". You'll hear about the transformations and evolutions but I think the majority of yoga presented on the internet is coated with a thick layer of sugary sweetness that makes me want to go brush my teeth. I get chasing bliss but I'm not chasing the same bliss that I hear described most often.

Bliss for me is balance. Bliss is walking the middle road so that life becomes more full and alive and less reactive. The highs and lows are still there and will always be there as long as this body is part of the cycles of this world. But from the middle ground I can truly surrender to the highs and not succumb to the lows since I know the center. That is bliss. Surfing the center. Coasting through the troughs. Testing the stars at the crest. Returning to the center with a breath.

So the anchors and chains of the past have to go since you can't really surf the center when you are constantly being dragged into some past drama. But it's not going to be pleasant and that's why I think that the metal yoga would work. Here I stand in a dark room. With dark music. Staring down the past and daring it to come up so it can be fully realized and gone. Having slogged through some pretty wild experiences over the last month I can barely imagine what would come up and I may be wrong to feel so combative about facing those demons since those demons are just me on a bad day from long ago but I kind of like the idea of going on the offensive.

Or maybe it's just better to let it happen as a natural evolution. I'm not really far enough into this to advocate one way or the other. But I'm open to the ideas and that alone may be enough to scare some of those demons up and out on their own.

Here are the links for convenience and the curious:

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/music/2013/10/heavy_metal_yoga.php
http://blackyoga.blogspot.com/

The Flat Bread Solution

Western cooking is full of bread which makes it the instant challenge of any low carb/paleoish diet but there are substitutes and in some case the substitutes are better than the missing breads.

Take, for instance, this Pumpkin Paleo Flatbread recipe I found when I was looking for a replacement for corn tortillas. Corn is a grain so it's not paleo approved but it's better than a flour tortilla in a pinch. But I've been looking for a viable alternative for some time and I think I've found it.

Baking flour-free usually involves using a nut based flour substitute such as almond (which is crazy expensive) or something like tapioca flour (which is much more budget friendly). We will avoid the usual arguments about whether or not any kind of baking is paleo since I don't really do a strict paleo diet. I avoid sugar and wheat and so any way I can substitute and get to visit old favorites I'm all for.

So I need tortillas for things such as fish tacos and pulled pork and the stated recipe works perfect and can adapt to different ingredients. Basically you can replace the pumpkin with different starches such as baked sweet potato. I also used a generic gluten-free flour instead of straight tapioca and it seemed to work fine. They come out with a little bit of stretch and are very durable, more durable than corn tortillas by a long shot.

There is also dessert possibilities. Run the batter a little thin and the texture gets very much like crepes. So some sauteed fruit with some honey wrapped up and topped with goat cheese and more honey becomes a savory dessert. I'm pretty sure you could add some baking soda and powder and you should have gluten-free pancakes.

The next experiment involves using the sweet potato version with the pulled pork but I can see make a batch of these every Sunday to keep through the week to supplement lunches and such.

Here is the link to the recipe for convenience: Pumpkin Paleo Flatbread

Copper and Cobalt Raku

Here is proof of more good results with the copper and cobalt glaze I talked about a few posts ago. I'm not going to go so far as to call it bullet proof but it's being fairly consistent in terms of colors and results while still offering surprises. Not sure you can ask more from a good raku glaze.

I'm going to work on some more complex designs since I've run out of test pots and I have some ideas now. Plus it's fall which makes for good firing weather especially at night.

And speaking of projects, I set a new gallon of mead to brew and added cinnamon to another gallon in the hopes of making a metheglin. Maybe it will be ready to drink by the holidays which will be pushing it but one can hope.

I'm ready to move up to five gallon batches I think but I'm also wondering if I can throw my own carboys. It would be a challenge but to have three or four ceramic carboys of ones own design and creation would be a lot of fun.

So sipping cinnamon mead while watching a kiln burning in the cool of the night will be happening this year.

If the mead makes good and the kiln don't fall apart.

Book Review: The Language of Yoga by Nicolai Bachman

If anything intimidated me about yoga before I began a regular practice, it was the Sanskrit. The language is beautiful to hear but if you look at it written out and romanized, it looks like huge lengths of unpronounceable words. But with any yoga practice, even a superficial one that only focuses on the asanas, one is going to run into Sanskrit.

Now you can fake it pretty easily. Jump on Youtube and listen to a few yoga lessons and you'll hear the terms bandied about and you'll hear multiple versions of the same word. Pick one you like and you're done. But if you catch one that actually pronounces the words with the right inflection, it sounds musical and almost magical. That's what I want. And I want the confidence to say it the way it was meant to be heard. So Youtube is not going to cut it.  I need a more direct approach that gives me the words I need.

A quick internet search lead to The Language of Yoga: Complete A to Y Guide to Asana Names, Sanskrit Terms, and Chants. I'm familiar with Mr. Bachman's work from The Path of the Yoga Sutras: A Practical Guide to the Core of Yoga which has pretty much become my favorite yoga book for a variety of reasons and it is also the reason my interest in the language was piqued. I like his writing style and enjoy his illuminations on the subject matter so it was an easy sell.

The Language of Yoga is hard-backed with a spiral binding and let me just say that all books should come that way. It lays flat and stays where you put it. And there's not much to it. It comes with two CD's and the book basically consists of the texts from the CD's. This is a good thing. No frills, just the yoga related words listed in their romanized version, the sanskrit version and it's translation.  On the CD, each word is spoken twice with a slight pause after and then the translation. Common chants are covered (not working on those anytime soon but they are interesting to hear), basic terms, basic numbers, chakras, mudras, astanga and asanas plus a whole lot more. The second CD is devoted to the asana names and organized for easy reference.

I've always had an interest in languages even though a lack of time and a short attention span has kept me fluent in only one. Three years of high school french left me able to read french on a good day. I have maybe fifty or so spanish words at my disposal. You might recall I tackled old english a while back and enjoyed it thoroughly. And of course there was Klingon back in the day which was also a lot of fun. I've tried language tapes and online apps but attention wavers and no one else I know wants to speak Klingon so you move on. But I still enjoy the study and the window into another culture that working with an unfamiliar language provides. I don't have to be fluent. I just want to dip my intellectual toes in and test the waters of another headspace.

Which is why I think there should be books such as Mr. Bachman's for every language. Give me the rules of pronunciation, give me the basic words such as numbers and days of the week and a CD to let me know how it all sounds and get out of my way. I would make it my mission to own every such book so that on a rainy day I could try my hand at hungarian or russian or even chinese. No commitment. No pressure. Just the sounds of another world rolling off the tongue for an afternoon.

And let it be stated that I would absolutely do deeply embarrassing things for a book that broke down gaelic is such a way. Just sayin'.

I can't recommend The Language of Yoga enough to students and practitioners. I think having the confidence of the proper pronunciation can add a subtle element to your practice that can take you deeper into the traditions and here it all is in a simple, little book and at a great price.

Knocking on the Sky - Finale

This is day four of the no-coffee experiment and the worst is pretty much behind me. It takes three days for just about anything to get out of your system. For instance, if you can get to day four without a cigarette, anything left is psychological. It appears that the same goes for caffeine.

I've also noticed that anxiety levels are down. Little things that normally bother me happened a lot today but for some reason I just shrugged and got on with it. This will be something to pay attention to as this moves along. If I can count on reduced stress and tension from avoiding caffeine then I'll avoid caffeine and I would suggest that anyone who has any sort of anxiety or stress related issues should calculate their intake see if there is a correlation.

As far as the meditation practice, it goes deeper and quieter with less time spent chasing random thoughts. This will also need to be monitored as the days go by but the static is gone and that's what I wanted to achieve.

But let's keep in mind that this is still an experiment. The holidays are coming and that means chaos in terms of keeping to the diet especially with a hectic schedule. But we'll see. I've committed to sticking to the program this year and that means searching for paleo friendly desserts.

But we'll talk about that when it gets a bit closer to the holidays.

Knocking on the Sky Part 2

Addiction sucks.

I'm not sure this particular experience qualifies since I've had a much harder time giving up things like sugar and nicotine but it's still a serious challenge to wade through the symptoms of withdrawal knowing that relief is a simple cup of coffee away.

Today the lethargy let up significantly only to be replaced by deep seated headaches. A little bit of ibuprofen solved that so it really hasn't been that bad. Perception has slowed and mentally I'm not as sharp but I think that will come back in time. Still breathing and, in a fortunate twist of fate, tonight's yoga class focused on pranayama and that pretty much killed the last of the symptoms. For now at least. I wish I had known even a little about breathwork with I gave up cigarettes the first time.

As far as the meditation practice, I'm finding the cave pretty quickly but at this point in the process, the symptoms pull me out.  So that will get better with time. Dreamtime continues to be longer, more fluid and more involved.

The experiment continues tonight and tomorrow.

Knocking on the Sky

So I gave up coffee this week as part of a little experiment.

The meditations have become deeper and more meaningful as an extension of the yoga practice but I've detected obstacles. I can sit and find a little cave in my mind and rest there for a moment or two, observing thoughts as they pass by the entrance the cave, trying not to judge. Just watching for as long as I can until I get lost in the stream again. It gets easier with practice and the time in the cave gets longer and longer and sometimes the thoughts zipping by actually slow down and every great once in a while . . . they stop. And that's where it gets interesting. In the absence of thought is the magnification of the moment and that's when harmony settles in and there is peace.

But getting to that sacred point takes all kinds of practice and, while I'm happy with my progress so far through the immersion course, I want the meditation side of things to be more focused and available. I want to capitalize on my success and move forward but to do so means pinpointing anything that's in the way or detrimental to the process.

So we first need to analyze the process. And it should be stated that the experience of meditation can be very subjective. A person can be told exactly what to do and how to do it but as that person begins the practice, her experience will be her own and I think that's why so many get frustrated and quit. People like rules and structure and they want to know exactly what's going to happen and what to expect and how to gauge success. This gets tricky since the gauge of success in this instance has more to do with what you are not doing as opposed to what you are doing right. Another source of frustration is that some who would write books on the subject get locked into the idea that their way is the only way and so when someone tries their way and fails, they assume they will never succeed and give up all together.

So the key is to take everything with a proverbial grain of salt and experiment. Read books, watch videos, listen to cd's or, better yet, just do it and find your own way.

So back to analyzing the practice.  For me, that means sitting or lying in a quiet place and breathing.  Most of the time I use ujjayi which calms the mind and fuels the system or I might use a rhythmic breath for a more structured approach. Depending on the day, the mood, the moon and so on, I should be in a relaxed state of mind in a few minutes.  Then I try to sink my awareness inward and sit. Thoughts still rush by but I try to observe as opposed to participating. Usually, the more I breath, the more I observe, the slower the thoughts become until I can listen to something else. The thoughts almost become background noise that can be ignored.

Now all of this is on a good day, usually after a heavy yoga session at the studio and before the worries of the world come crashing back down. There is the cadence of the breath and an inner awareness of worked muscles and open spaces. On a not so good day I might not get past just slowing the thoughts down for a little while and following the breath. That's ok though. I know that my blood pressure has dropped at the very least and that's worth the practice in itself.

But let's assume a good day. Thoughts are slowing down and I can listen. I might check in on the chakras but for the most part, I just observe. But what is that in the background? It's not a thought really or a song. It's just static, like a old tv tuned to a dead channel. Interference really.

And what could be causing that? Well, caffeine is the primary suspect at this point and I didn't even have to think that hard to come to that conclusion.  My normal intake is about two cups of coffee in the morning, tea for lunch, either coffee or (gasp!) an energy drink in the afternoon and then tea for dinner. Sometimes a lot of tea for dinner. So my intake is high and I'm almost certain it's the source the static.  But let's experiment and find out for sure.

So for this week, no coffee and we are switching to green tea. Next week i may try giving up the green tea if this produces the desired effect even though there is a remarkable difference between the caffeine's of green tea, black tea and coffee. Case in point, I drank one cup of green tea yesterday morning instead of my normal two cups of coffee and I swear reality still dropped into low gear. Time actually appeared to be moving at a completely different rate sans coffee. It was actually pretty fascinating and pretty annoying.  Mid-afternoon is a nightmare of sluggishness and slow thinking. I also noticed a lack of balance in the yoga practice last night but then I remembered kapalabhati which is an energizing breath and after a few rounds I felt pretty normal.

I also noticed an increase in dream time while I was sleeping last night which is very interesting but makes sense. But that could be psychosomatic.

So this morning began with more kapalabhati and green tea and reality still seems downshifted but some of the sluggishness is already lifting. I had an intermediate yoga class tonight that left me pretty wrung out (in a good way) and I think moved me even further into detox than I was.

I'll meditate tonight and report back tomorrow but I'm amazed as the difference already.